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I just LOVE snow.
Here I am, posting a blog at 3:24 pm in my pajamas. Sounds pretty awesome, eh?
nawwt really. Why, you ask? Let me begin with my wonderful after school experience yesterday.
It was the first major snowfall of the season, and I had to stay after school to write a script for Cafe night. After I had finished, I called the bus company, as I always do, to check which combination of busses (the 10 and the 39, the 10 and the 45, or the 19 and the 39) would get me home the fastest. I prefer the 19/39 combination, so I tried that one first. "next bus in 4 minutes, following bus in 31 minutes". perfect, I would just catch the latter one(Mind you, I had to take the 19 first). This gave me time to go all the way to the 3rd floor to grab my gloves that I had forgotten. So i walk out of the school and Justin's car drives by. Excitedly, I call Sean and ask whats up. Nothing really. Later, I decide its too cold to be outside without a nice, warm hot chocolate. So i walk into Rabba, ask to first PAY for the drink (cus i don't know how broke I am) and then he gives it to me. As I walk out of Rabba, i see a #19 whiz by. Its okay, they come like every 5 minutes.
I j-walk across Hurontario and stand by the stop, running and spilling my hot chocolate as I did. There, I met Justins brother and said hi. I wait for the bus. and wait. Then comes Glenn (who is legally crossing Hurontario), we say a few words, and then I see the bus coming. When it approaches, I see that it is not the 19, so I hop on and ask if he goes to Britannia: no. greeeatt. Please keep in mind the running total of bus-waiting time has now reached about 10 minutes, very unusual for the 19. But then I remind myself : its the first snowfall of the season. hurrray. Finally the 19 comes, packed as usual. I lumber on, juggling my hugeass bag, my ginormous econ binder, my hot chocolate still full to the brim, and manage to get the ticket into the slot with my pinkie finger. Time check: 11 minutes till the next bus. Its okay, thats plenty of time. whoops, I forgot, its also rush hour. beautiful, just beautiful.
After an excruciatingly long time, the 19 stops at Britannia and I run to the second bus stop, with (according to my watch) 1 minute left. Theres lots of people waiting, so I assume the bus has not come yet. And plus, if the 19 was late, why not the 39 right? first snowfall of the season. hurray. WRONG. turns out, i missed it by a few minutes. why the hell would a bus come EARLY on the first snowfall of the season? Gets me. (here i think, what if i hadn't gone to get my gloves? or called sean? or bought that hot chocolate?)I finish my hot chocolate, and sit at the stop for 25 glorious minutes, while 2 other busses pass (this explained the crowded bus stand). Thankfully, the second bus was neither early nor late. I bussled on the bus with the other 15 people who were at my stop, and managed to get a window seat.
The 39 is a very long bus ride. It goes all the way down Britannia and then down 9th line (almost Milton), and then finally gets to Derry, where I get off. When its finally time to get off, its pitch black outside. Come to think of it, it was dark for most of the bus ride. The poor lighting, though, didn't stop me from reading Wuthering Heights. Healthcliff is indeed a very interesting character. So back to me getting off. See, heres the thing. I could get off at a street corner, and cross like normal people, but knowing me, the avid thrill-seeking j-walker, I get off at the middle of a long stretch of road (not near any pedestrian crossings) and i j-walk across Derry. Herein, again, comes in that beautiful phrase: the first snowfall of the season. Hence, all drivers go a little crazy and seem to forget that theres a little thing called ice that exists on the roads they drive on. Lucky me, theres an accident smack-dab in the middle of Derry, complete with cops and traffic backed up all the way past the next street (which, as previously mentioned, is quite an extensive distance away).
I now have 2 choices: OPTION 1) keep walking a bit and cross underneath Derry through a walking trail which included a sketchy underpass, or OPTION 2)walk backwards quite a bit and cross at the stoplight, and walk back up in the same direction on the other side of Derry. Taking into the consideration the shorter walk, I chose OPTION 1, the underpass . So I stroll on over and, very cautiously, make my descent. I take off my earbuds: all senses go. Its all fine and dandy until I get to the actual underpass bit where theres a very scary-looking silhouette hunched over and looking in my direction. I cursed my brains out and ran right back the same way i got there: theres no WAY i was going to try to pass him. So here i was, left with no other choice than to go for OPTION 2 , which is what I should have gone for in the first place. So i walked all the way back (which was now double the distance along Derry) and to the pedestrian crossing.
I finally got home, just as my mother was pulling into the driveway (here i thought, damn, I could have just waited at Meadowvale where she could have picked me up. oh well), with snow leaking into my flats through a whole in the heal (they are pretty worn-in shoes). My mom asks why it took me so long to walk home, and I burst into tears, trying to unleash my frustration.
Part of my frustration involves how the hell I was going to get through today, Thursday. Oh yes, the story doesn't end there. You see, I was planning on (finally) convincing my parents to let me take the car to school, because I had Cafe night practice again after school till around 4:30, followed by work at 5. My selling point was that there it was physically impossible for me to get from school to work in half an hour on transit (I even used my horrifying bus experience of the day to try and convince them.) Lo and behold, they denied my request. Their reasoning? Here it comes again: the first snowfall of the season. They used my own story against me, using the car accident as an example of a situation I might find myself in if I got the car for the day. My mom suggested not going to the practice, or not going to work. I said if I had to go to one, I had to go to the other. More crying, more frustration.
Finally, after dinner (because a full stomach helps me to think rationally, I find), I simply say: I don't want to go to work OR school tomorrow. My parents' response (to my utter disbelief): "sure."So, this morning, my parents called in sick for me at school, and as soon as I woke up, which was 10am, I called in sick at work.
And now here I am, in my pajamas, and hour after I started writing this blog, about to watch my 6th episode of Big Bang Theory of the day. ("The Nerdmabelia Scattering"). Have I mentioned that I just LOVE snow?
more later.
ps. here's a drawing to explain my OPTION 1/OPTION 2 dilemma [click on the picture for a larger view]:
Thursday, November 20, 2008 @ 12:24 PM
0 believers
0 Believers:
(do you believe?)
la douleur.
kay soo. this ones gonna be a bit deep. i've been considering writing a "deep" blog for a while but i dont know how deep i can get without depressing all 3 of my readers. [that was a joke, i'm trying to lighten the mood before i dive in]. the topic? pain.
right now i feel like my ears are going to fall off and my head is throbbing because i just put in new spacers. you're probably thinking "why would you do that? a) its ugly and b) it HURTS". yeah, it hurts, but, as many of you have heard me say, i like it. and a lot of people get grossed and/or freaked out when i say this, but i dont mean it in a creepy way. theres actually a ... deep [for lack of a better word] meaning behind my "like" for pain. simply put, i think it numbs out all the other pains that i have to face. yeah i know, i have to overcome these pains some day, but there are some pains that only heal with time. and what better way to pass time than to numb oneself? get my logic? probably not.
*the next few paragraphs consist of me trying to explain my freak-of-nature ways, so if you already get me, no further reading is necessary.
theres also that rush that comes with pain. and now, when using the word pain i will broaden my spectrum. i'm also going to include fear into this dialog. i, personally, enjoy the rush that comes with pain/fear. i dont know, maybe im just weird, or maybe im one of many (all?) growing teens who like to get a thrill/high out of things every now and then. and i realize that when i use the word high it sounds like im an alcoholic / drug addict, but im not necessarily referring to that kind of high. i'm talking about the feeling of being suspended hundreds of feet in the air while hanging from a bungee cord, or getting the crap scared out of you by a movie where your own reflection can kill yourself. in the moment, you are hella scared/ in pain, but when its over, its the best feeling ever. its like "wow, i actually accomplished something crrazzyyy". and i've heard that that kind of yearning for a thrill goes away with age, so i say, live for the moment.
and then theres the pain that i just cant take. thats the pain im numbing . just thinking of that kind of pain hurts so much. just to name a few, these pains are failure, loss, rejection, exclusion, etc, etc. i think that things like that take time to get over, so yes, i am overcoming the pain, but it takes time, and in the meanwhile, i am trying to "forget" about it. and by "forget", i mean "numb".
to conclude about these pieces of plastic in my ears: when the pain goes away, i will say "woah. how on earth did u do something like that?" and at the same time, the pain makes me forget about everything else that just really, really hurts.
i hope you get it, and if you don't, thanks for bearing with me as i attempted to explain.
more later.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 @ 7:18 PM
0 believers
0 Believers:
(do you believe?)
|
I just LOVE snow.
Here I am, posting a blog at 3:24 pm in my pajamas. Sounds pretty awesome, eh?
nawwt really. Why, you ask? Let me begin with my wonderful after school experience yesterday.
It was the first major snowfall of the season, and I had to stay after school to write a script for Cafe night. After I had finished, I called the bus company, as I always do, to check which combination of busses (the 10 and the 39, the 10 and the 45, or the 19 and the 39) would get me home the fastest. I prefer the 19/39 combination, so I tried that one first. "next bus in 4 minutes, following bus in 31 minutes". perfect, I would just catch the latter one(Mind you, I had to take the 19 first). This gave me time to go all the way to the 3rd floor to grab my gloves that I had forgotten. So i walk out of the school and Justin's car drives by. Excitedly, I call Sean and ask whats up. Nothing really. Later, I decide its too cold to be outside without a nice, warm hot chocolate. So i walk into Rabba, ask to first PAY for the drink (cus i don't know how broke I am) and then he gives it to me. As I walk out of Rabba, i see a #19 whiz by. Its okay, they come like every 5 minutes.
I j-walk across Hurontario and stand by the stop, running and spilling my hot chocolate as I did. There, I met Justins brother and said hi. I wait for the bus. and wait. Then comes Glenn (who is legally crossing Hurontario), we say a few words, and then I see the bus coming. When it approaches, I see that it is not the 19, so I hop on and ask if he goes to Britannia: no. greeeatt. Please keep in mind the running total of bus-waiting time has now reached about 10 minutes, very unusual for the 19. But then I remind myself : its the first snowfall of the season. hurrray. Finally the 19 comes, packed as usual. I lumber on, juggling my hugeass bag, my ginormous econ binder, my hot chocolate still full to the brim, and manage to get the ticket into the slot with my pinkie finger. Time check: 11 minutes till the next bus. Its okay, thats plenty of time. whoops, I forgot, its also rush hour. beautiful, just beautiful.
After an excruciatingly long time, the 19 stops at Britannia and I run to the second bus stop, with (according to my watch) 1 minute left. Theres lots of people waiting, so I assume the bus has not come yet. And plus, if the 19 was late, why not the 39 right? first snowfall of the season. hurray. WRONG. turns out, i missed it by a few minutes. why the hell would a bus come EARLY on the first snowfall of the season? Gets me. (here i think, what if i hadn't gone to get my gloves? or called sean? or bought that hot chocolate?)I finish my hot chocolate, and sit at the stop for 25 glorious minutes, while 2 other busses pass (this explained the crowded bus stand). Thankfully, the second bus was neither early nor late. I bussled on the bus with the other 15 people who were at my stop, and managed to get a window seat.
The 39 is a very long bus ride. It goes all the way down Britannia and then down 9th line (almost Milton), and then finally gets to Derry, where I get off. When its finally time to get off, its pitch black outside. Come to think of it, it was dark for most of the bus ride. The poor lighting, though, didn't stop me from reading Wuthering Heights. Healthcliff is indeed a very interesting character. So back to me getting off. See, heres the thing. I could get off at a street corner, and cross like normal people, but knowing me, the avid thrill-seeking j-walker, I get off at the middle of a long stretch of road (not near any pedestrian crossings) and i j-walk across Derry. Herein, again, comes in that beautiful phrase: the first snowfall of the season. Hence, all drivers go a little crazy and seem to forget that theres a little thing called ice that exists on the roads they drive on. Lucky me, theres an accident smack-dab in the middle of Derry, complete with cops and traffic backed up all the way past the next street (which, as previously mentioned, is quite an extensive distance away).
I now have 2 choices: OPTION 1) keep walking a bit and cross underneath Derry through a walking trail which included a sketchy underpass, or OPTION 2)walk backwards quite a bit and cross at the stoplight, and walk back up in the same direction on the other side of Derry. Taking into the consideration the shorter walk, I chose OPTION 1, the underpass . So I stroll on over and, very cautiously, make my descent. I take off my earbuds: all senses go. Its all fine and dandy until I get to the actual underpass bit where theres a very scary-looking silhouette hunched over and looking in my direction. I cursed my brains out and ran right back the same way i got there: theres no WAY i was going to try to pass him. So here i was, left with no other choice than to go for OPTION 2 , which is what I should have gone for in the first place. So i walked all the way back (which was now double the distance along Derry) and to the pedestrian crossing.
I finally got home, just as my mother was pulling into the driveway (here i thought, damn, I could have just waited at Meadowvale where she could have picked me up. oh well), with snow leaking into my flats through a whole in the heal (they are pretty worn-in shoes). My mom asks why it took me so long to walk home, and I burst into tears, trying to unleash my frustration.
Part of my frustration involves how the hell I was going to get through today, Thursday. Oh yes, the story doesn't end there. You see, I was planning on (finally) convincing my parents to let me take the car to school, because I had Cafe night practice again after school till around 4:30, followed by work at 5. My selling point was that there it was physically impossible for me to get from school to work in half an hour on transit (I even used my horrifying bus experience of the day to try and convince them.) Lo and behold, they denied my request. Their reasoning? Here it comes again: the first snowfall of the season. They used my own story against me, using the car accident as an example of a situation I might find myself in if I got the car for the day. My mom suggested not going to the practice, or not going to work. I said if I had to go to one, I had to go to the other. More crying, more frustration.
Finally, after dinner (because a full stomach helps me to think rationally, I find), I simply say: I don't want to go to work OR school tomorrow. My parents' response (to my utter disbelief): "sure."So, this morning, my parents called in sick for me at school, and as soon as I woke up, which was 10am, I called in sick at work.
And now here I am, in my pajamas, and hour after I started writing this blog, about to watch my 6th episode of Big Bang Theory of the day. ("The Nerdmabelia Scattering"). Have I mentioned that I just LOVE snow?
more later.
ps. here's a drawing to explain my OPTION 1/OPTION 2 dilemma [click on the picture for a larger view]:
Thursday, November 20, 2008 @ 12:24 PM
la douleur.
kay soo. this ones gonna be a bit deep. i've been considering writing a "deep" blog for a while but i dont know how deep i can get without depressing all 3 of my readers. [that was a joke, i'm trying to lighten the mood before i dive in]. the topic? pain.
right now i feel like my ears are going to fall off and my head is throbbing because i just put in new spacers. you're probably thinking "why would you do that? a) its ugly and b) it HURTS". yeah, it hurts, but, as many of you have heard me say, i like it. and a lot of people get grossed and/or freaked out when i say this, but i dont mean it in a creepy way. theres actually a ... deep [for lack of a better word] meaning behind my "like" for pain. simply put, i think it numbs out all the other pains that i have to face. yeah i know, i have to overcome these pains some day, but there are some pains that only heal with time. and what better way to pass time than to numb oneself? get my logic? probably not.
*the next few paragraphs consist of me trying to explain my freak-of-nature ways, so if you already get me, no further reading is necessary.
theres also that rush that comes with pain. and now, when using the word pain i will broaden my spectrum. i'm also going to include fear into this dialog. i, personally, enjoy the rush that comes with pain/fear. i dont know, maybe im just weird, or maybe im one of many (all?) growing teens who like to get a thrill/high out of things every now and then. and i realize that when i use the word high it sounds like im an alcoholic / drug addict, but im not necessarily referring to that kind of high. i'm talking about the feeling of being suspended hundreds of feet in the air while hanging from a bungee cord, or getting the crap scared out of you by a movie where your own reflection can kill yourself. in the moment, you are hella scared/ in pain, but when its over, its the best feeling ever. its like "wow, i actually accomplished something crrazzyyy". and i've heard that that kind of yearning for a thrill goes away with age, so i say, live for the moment.
and then theres the pain that i just cant take. thats the pain im numbing . just thinking of that kind of pain hurts so much. just to name a few, these pains are failure, loss, rejection, exclusion, etc, etc. i think that things like that take time to get over, so yes, i am overcoming the pain, but it takes time, and in the meanwhile, i am trying to "forget" about it. and by "forget", i mean "numb".
to conclude about these pieces of plastic in my ears: when the pain goes away, i will say "woah. how on earth did u do something like that?" and at the same time, the pain makes me forget about everything else that just really, really hurts.
i hope you get it, and if you don't, thanks for bearing with me as i attempted to explain.
more later.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 @ 7:18 PM
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Profile
simply put, i am not a simple person. i've tried this many times, but it is hard for me to describe myself in just a few short sentences. in terms of this blog, i started it as a place to which i cuold channel all of my thoughts, feelings and rants. it may not be your run of the mill blog, but its my blog, and its my thoughts and feelings. if i have offended you i any way, i apologize. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying i don't want anyone to read my blog; in fact, i try my best to make it readable:amidst all my random thoughts i include pictures to keep you as a reader interested.
if you have any comments or questions, feel free to add them to my tagboard. thank you!
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